First Day of Studio
My studio instructor says he...
- Dislikes teaching undergraduates because he’s not a morning person
- Is trying to quit smoking
- Will not allowing any food in class. (Studio is 9am-1pm straight.)
Instructor: Serena, what would you like to accomplish or achieve in 100B?
Me: I want—
Instructor: NO, stop. You said “I want.” Eerrrrk. (cuts neck)
Me: I’m sorry…
Instructor: Reword what you were going to say with “my objective is…” and this doesn’t just apply to how you talk about architecture, this applies to life. Remember this. Come with impressive work on Monday. If I think your work is lame, I will think you’re lame for the rest of the semester.
I'm scared shitless but I just keep telling myself, be brave, be brave...
Tolerance for Courageous Sucking
Nobody likes feeling like a noob, especially when you’re getting constant pressure on all sides to never stick out in an unflattering way. And, in this godforsaken just-add-Wikipedia era of make-believe insight and instant expertise, it’s natural to start believing you must never suck at anything or admit to knowing less than everything — even when you’re just starting out. Clarinets should never squawk, sketch lines should never be visible, and dictionaries are just big, dumb books of words for cheaters and fancy people. Right?
I think finding your own comfort with the process (whatever that process ends up being) might just be the whole game here — being willing to put in your time, learn the craft, and never lose the courageousness to be caught in the middle of making something you care about, even when it might be shit and you might look like an idiot fumbling to make it. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Well, you could quit, because it’s too hard to make stuff you aren’t already great at. You could convert all that pointless effort and practice back into MySpace updates and the production of funny cat pictures. No, it’s not technically the worst thing that could happen, but it’s a damned common pathway for fear to molder back into an emotional impulse to put on jammies and watch Judge Judy.
I’m not doing anything special here, and I don’t claim to have a magic formula for creativity, let alone for getting a half-decent photo of a rubber shoe. All I know is that sticking with things that don’t arrive with instant mastery does have its own reward, even if you’re the only one who ever collects it. Because the more you push through the barriers for these little avocations, the easier it becomes to remember you always have everything you need to just keep banging until you’re satisfied with any work that’s thrown at you.
Next time I need inspiration to get through a bad patch, or to get past that persistent feeling that I’ll always be stuck in the lowest creative gear, I hope I’ll remember to stop and ask myself what exactly is keeping me from just laying on the sidewalk until I get my shot. Even if it’s cold, even if I look like an idiot, and even if I risk missing the first crucial minutes of Judge Judy.
—Merlin Mann, 43 Folders
The problem with artists and designers is, we have conditioned egos. We dedicate our lives to perfect one particular skill, and then our success is based on how much others like our work. We are defined by what critics say about us and how others react to our work. We are constantly being compared with other talented people in the same field, and it’s extremely difficult to stand out and receive any sort of recognition.Those who persevere and truly are talented know they’re the shit (think Project Runway).
The problem with all this mind fucking is, we need to keep enough dignity to have faith in ourselves to persevere, yet we need to be humble enough to know that we need improvement in order to become better. Studio is like, preparation for real-world competition and criticism. In studio, everyone is artistic, creative, and equally willing to be sleep-deprived. My roommate’s instructor told her her portfolio was unacceptable and that she was at the bottom of the pack. Just like that. Constructive criticism deconstructs our egos and then forces us to stand back up stronger next time (if we can). I'm taking two yoga classes this semester for a reason.
I just gotta suck courageously.
